November 9th, 2008

Exclusive: Fatherhood Discovered!

Posted by natdavauer in Baby

The most amazing thing happened to me recently. I was going about my business of life as I knew it like most of the others around me and then it happened. I kinda saw it coming a ways off but it still hit me like a lightning bolt out of the blue. Indeed, like Ben Franklin himself I think I’ve discovered something about the world that’s going to be huge.

I’m sure there will be some out there that insist I didn’t invent this phenomenon, that they had heard of and possibly experienced this already. It’s hard to believe though because it feels so profound to me, I think this must be a unique occurrence. I want the masses to be able to enjoy my discovery so in the interest of the world at large, I will reveal the secret on this widely viewed public forum.

Becoming a dad is absolutely most amazing thing that has ever happened.  There have been other landmarks of course involving moons and walking on them and most recently a particular man becoming president but this, believe it or not, is more amazing. I called the papers and for some reason they didn’t want to run the headline: Man discovers fatherhood. I suppose they think people might not be impressed.

That’s just it though… becoming a father is personal. There are millions and millions of kids but I am this one’s dad. From my perspective this is the only kid on Earth and thankfully I get to be her daddy.  It’s like my own personal expedition to the Moon and I get to be Neil. Each moment is a revelation. She slept! She burped! She stuck out her tongue because I stuck out my tongue! Eureka!

I suppose as time goes on it will seem normal to have a kid. Things won’t make headlines nor will I want them too. Exclusive: Teenage girl talks on iphone for 6 hours and doesn’t do her homework. But here at the beginning, I feel like Galileo must have felt. Ah ha! So this is what it’s all about. A man’s life revolves around his daughter not his job, his stock portfolio or his car.

Work is easier because I know why I need some money. Success isn’t important because it could never compare. Things… well they’re just things and they always will be, but this… this is Evelyn. That’s why I do what I do now. That’s why I live. That my friends is the secret to life. I share it with you all for two reasons: One, I want you to make this discovery and two, I want Evie to have some friends.

Scientific Proof of Ground-breaking Discovery

February 20th, 2007

Trial by Fire

Posted by natdavauer in Baby

Orion Cupid Davauer was born on February 9th. He lived for two hours and fourteen minutes. He lived his entire life in his parents’ loving arms. We all live longer lives complex with love, fear and sorrow. In the end trying to tip the scales in favor of love. I believe as we get older, we think back more and more to the time when our parents held us and all we knew was love. If only our whole lives could be so simple one might wish. If nothing else, Orion’s life was that pure and simple. He was held and loved every waking second of it.

As I drove away from the hospital I glanced in the rear view mirror and stopped. I pulled the car over for a minute just to figure out what I was looking at. There were eyes staring back at me that I had never seen before. They seemed old and deep with sorrow, but there was a strength in them.

What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.

This couldn’t have felt more true at that moment. There is a pain in life that you might think can strike you dead. As it turns out, we are capable of more than we think. You’ve heard of the person lifting a car when someone’s life is in danger? We all have this. There is a fortitude in us that is only available when we are most desperate for it. It waits just beneath the surface betraying our confidence, then when we finally succumb to self doubt and fear, we find ourselves still alive.

Our sadness had little time to breathe as we went straight from the hospital to one of our very best friend’s funeral. Rachel was white as a ghost due to lack of blood. She doesn’t have a lot to spare. She isn’t even allowed to donate blood due to her meager resources. But we needed as much as anything else in the world to be at this funeral for some reason. We needed to be in a place where death and despair were matter-of-course.

Sunday we sat by a hot fire preparing to embark down the road to recovery. We watched in horror as the smoke coming out of the wall at my parents’ house turned to fire. Everyone’s quick thinking and possibly the fact I was not wearing shoes left an outcome where everyone was safe except for the soldiers at Fort Union. You would think after having emotionally lifted our car, we would be incapable of being in a burning house. It turns out though, that this was our trial by fire. If we made it through this, we would make it through anything.

And we have. It seems we have been through an earthquake of suffering this year. Our baby was supposed to be the only thing that shone above it all. We have lived such a wonderful life recently either it’s time to pay the piper or we may have been cursed while traveling. We came across many people that looked like they could cast a pretty mean curse but I can’t remember doing anything to deserve it.

Within the last year: Three of my family’s horses died, two of my family’s dogs died, my cat died, my mom came very close to dying, my brother could have as well, two friends were diagnosed with cancer, my friend died and my son died.

This sounds like a curse, but I believe it is the nature of life on Earth. If I was to make a list of all the good things that have happened to me in recent years, it would be infinitely longer than that.

Orion CupidAfter the fire, my eyes had cried out all of their tears and were filled with nothing but soot and smoke. However, they could still see my wife. They could still see my family. The could still see my friend even as he burst through the door to rescue us. They could still see themselves and their own strength in the mirror. And they can see a near future where this is all a memory.

In the short time he was here, Orion gave Rachel and I a parting gift: A bond that goes deeper than what I previously thought possible. Something about being together for those two hours and fourteen minutes with him and Rachel was deeply spiritual and life-altering. Seeing life and death so close together while trying to love and grieve is heartbreakingly affecting.

We will always remember to look up through the smoking rubble that can sometimes be our lives to the winter sky and thank Orion for all he was. We’ll look to him to remember that strength, to feel it… even for just a couple minutes.

January 30th, 2007


Posted by natdavauer in Baby

The management at Davauer.com would like to express its deepest regrets involving an error in an earlier posting. The board of directors has notified publishing that there are no hot flashes being experienced and that they are not an old lady or something. The writers would like to take this opportunity to explain that, while knowing there were no hot flashes, they could not pass up the weather system/ultrasound joke opportunity. They insist they are only doing their best to entertain the readers, but would also like to acknowledge they don’t think The Board is an old lady or something. Thank you for reading Davauer.com.

January 24th, 2007


Posted by natdavauer in Baby

You know you have the coolest baby around when they are on YouTube and they’re still five months away from being born. Hey, some parents start their kid’s trust fund early, some start their MySpace profile.

The video doesn’t seem to show much at first glance, but it turns out that ultrasound is a deep and complex world of baby information. I know, it’s pretty easy to tell it’s the smartest, most handsome and best dancing baby ever, but other thingsbabyfronts are less obvious. You can, for instance, tell the sex of The Bean from close inspection of the video. Shhh! Don’t tell us. We prefer not to know weather we are going to have to get our whining adolescent a pink iPhone or a blue iPhone until we absolutely have to know.

Now, I am no expert, indeed, I have only experienced one ultrasound in my life, but I’m pretty sure that the baby has it’s own weather system. This may be what responsible for the temperature changes of the mother. Hot flash? Or Cold front coming down over an area of low pressure?The Real Baby Bean

Baby BeanWhen you’re all done they give you a picture* - the first picture ever - of your baby to take home. The problem is that the first picture ever of your baby looks more like a picture of a hobbit demon or maybe a scene from Leprechaun. Honestly though, it is an intensely emotional experience to look into the eyes of the hobbit demon. To make it a little easier though, we had an FBI profiler do an artist’s conceptual drawing of what The Bean might really look like in there… listening to his mother laugh all day… sitting under his own weather pattern…

To Bean: Nice stash, I like your style dude.

*They also give the mother a towel to wipe off the enormous amount of what looks like snot that they smeared all over her belly.

January 16th, 2007

Prenatal Pilates

Posted by natdavauer in Baby

19 Weeks
I’m happy to inform everyone that our baby is right on track with learning pilates and yoga. As you can see from the artist’s rendering, Baby Skittles is taking sitting Indian style to the next level. It’s so extreme the leg is labeled so you don’t get confused. No, that isn’t a giant brow with a foot on it… it’s a leg.

January 16th, 2007

Lessons From a Trimester

Posted by natdavauer in Baby

Well, the first trimester is over. It’s the most theoretical of trimesters.* If you don’t remind yourself your life has dramatically changed, you think things are exactly the same. People don’t let you forget for long though. A few questions start to sound familiar. Survey says!..

“When’s it due?”
“Are you going to find out if it’s a girl or boy?”
And “Have you picked out any names yet?”

Like I said, it’s all very theoretical at this point so, at first, you’re kinda like, “What? why are you asking me these questions?” And then, “Oh yeah, we’re pregnant. Um, mid-June, no and yes. Zaphod, boy or girl.”

Anyway, the fact that it’s so non-physical gives you a chance to really let it all sink in. It’s like getting accepted to a college or being hired for a job. You’re excited that at least one of your millions of applications were accepted at the local opening, but now that you’ve got the job, you’re getting a little nervous. Will the boss like you or will he/she not even talk to you for years?

Food PyramidOne thing I’ve gleaned so far is that baby clothes take on a power hereto unwitnessed. I think they are a cuteness surrogate for the baby until it arrives. I am a liberal guy and look forward to poopy diapers and all, but I don’t think I have the the gene sequence that reacts to the cuteness of baby clothes. I mean, they are cute, but mostly they’re just really, really small - which is the truly fascinating thing to me. Have you ever seen newborn baby socks? Like thumb warmers. We just received a giant freezer bag of baby socks from a friend, and you would think it is a duffel bag full of cash. Just raising it out of the box leaves the room in silent awe. If cuteness had a currency we could retire.

If tiny baby socks are cute, tiny baby toenails must be beyond cute. The size of all things baby however, are measured by some sort of fruit or vegetable. Zaphod has gone from a bean to a grapefruit in this first trimester. The next trimester will see his/her development through the many varieties of the melon family. Oh, I just thought of a name… Jolly Rancher or JR for short. No wait, Skittles… yeah, Baby Skittles.

*For me anyway. Rachel might not think the puke that accompanied this trimester was very theoretical.