January 16th, 2007

Lessons From a Trimester

Posted by natdavauer in Baby

Well, the first trimester is over. It’s the most theoretical of trimesters.* If you don’t remind yourself your life has dramatically changed, you think things are exactly the same. People don’t let you forget for long though. A few questions start to sound familiar. Survey says!..

“When’s it due?”
“Are you going to find out if it’s a girl or boy?”
And “Have you picked out any names yet?”

Like I said, it’s all very theoretical at this point so, at first, you’re kinda like, “What? why are you asking me these questions?” And then, “Oh yeah, we’re pregnant. Um, mid-June, no and yes. Zaphod, boy or girl.”

Anyway, the fact that it’s so non-physical gives you a chance to really let it all sink in. It’s like getting accepted to a college or being hired for a job. You’re excited that at least one of your millions of applications were accepted at the local opening, but now that you’ve got the job, you’re getting a little nervous. Will the boss like you or will he/she not even talk to you for years?

Food PyramidOne thing I’ve gleaned so far is that baby clothes take on a power hereto unwitnessed. I think they are a cuteness surrogate for the baby until it arrives. I am a liberal guy and look forward to poopy diapers and all, but I don’t think I have the the gene sequence that reacts to the cuteness of baby clothes. I mean, they are cute, but mostly they’re just really, really small - which is the truly fascinating thing to me. Have you ever seen newborn baby socks? Like thumb warmers. We just received a giant freezer bag of baby socks from a friend, and you would think it is a duffel bag full of cash. Just raising it out of the box leaves the room in silent awe. If cuteness had a currency we could retire.

If tiny baby socks are cute, tiny baby toenails must be beyond cute. The size of all things baby however, are measured by some sort of fruit or vegetable. Zaphod has gone from a bean to a grapefruit in this first trimester. The next trimester will see his/her development through the many varieties of the melon family. Oh, I just thought of a name… Jolly Rancher or JR for short. No wait, Skittles… yeah, Baby Skittles.

*For me anyway. Rachel might not think the puke that accompanied this trimester was very theoretical.

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